Filled with much thoughts.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

我不想当小妹.

10:21 AM

Friday, November 26, 2010

*HEARTBEAT POUNDING X1000 TIMES*

the day finally came, i'm going to meet him later alone.
dunno how many times i wish this kind of thing to happen but how it came, i wish it can be other day.
I'm not prepared! I'm scared! I'm nervous! I'm happy!
yesterday, i'm damn happy.
but after hearing that maggie is not going home tonight, i dunno why i will link to she is together with keith overnight at his place, then in the morning they will go for breakfast then later when he come and pick me up, i will see maggie in his car and they told me they are together!

OH MAN! I wish i'm thinking too much! what if it really happen? i think i will breakdown lor.
serious. I'm nervous now not because im meeting him later but scare i will see maggie in his car!
damn it...
crossed finger arrrrrrr.....

the plan later is, we will meet and go to shop for red wine.
then we will proceed to punggol marina to meet suzie and joey and the rest.
so i will have 1 hour to be alone with him.
that should be happy about right? but all these negative thoughts kept popping up in my mind.
arrgghh this is so torturing!

9:25 PM

Monday, November 22, 2010

it has always been a battle with myself.
i need to sort out my own feeling.
i cannot always let my feeling rule my head.
i need to know how to seperate.
maybe i should learn from cheekeong.

7:36 AM

不说也不能怪他，但说了又有什么用?

到底我要这么作你才会董！！！

真的很想很想跟你说！

我也快要疯了！

我的心脏啊，你能死心吗

6:01 AM

my heart sank into 200m deep...
i need my oxygen tank.

5:38 AM

Saturday, November 20, 2010

paintball and go kart today.
had fun!
i feel good when i stroke his head.
i feel good when i take the initative to hold his hand.
I can feel the warmth and the way he hold back.

eh wait, i thought i'm supposed to give up?

8:37 AM

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

i really wants to give up, really want to.
but how can i let my heart die on him......
i hate you because i still like you.
i hate this.

11:44 PM

Friday, November 12, 2010

i like you but i made my friends disappointed in me when i just want to see a glismp of you.
janice said something today 'the opposite of love is indifferent', i truly agree.
when you like a person, he is like your center of gravity.
but once you lose the grip, you can't find back the same spot anymore.
you will just feel indifferent.

sometimes i rather i feel indifferent abt him than missing him all the time.
i'm like a sister, right? can you tell me?

11:40 PM