Filled with much thoughts.

I am talking to xiu in msn about which kind of people tend to build a protective shield infront of them and what cause them to do that.

Is it that they don't seems to believe in anyone easily, simply don't know who they can believe or maybe the only one they can believe in is themselves or their family members. They seems to me that most of the time, when they smile or laugh, it doesnt come from the heart. I didnt mean they are faking it, just that i feel that either something is still bothering them or simply they are not feeling the real happiness in them when they do so.

Or is it that they are lacking of confidence or they are afraid of rejection? I'm super afraid of rejection, thus every time before a person speaks to me, i'll be afraid to make the first move. I'm afraid that the person will depise me or even wouldn't reply in politeness. That's also the sign of confidence lacking. They are so much of a mysterious that people wouldn't know what they are thinking, even though they have already crack their brain.

Yes, many people use brain to talk. But what i feel is, brain is very impt. But then i still think that using heart to communication is so much better than brain. Even though sometimes what you talk might be stupid or dumb, but then its from the heart without much process. Like fruits, when you eat an apple when it just drop from the tree. Its the most initial process but if you process it into canned fruits. Its not as real as it is before, the bad one is being taken out and good ones are kept and sold. Its the same logic. speak carefully without using any bad words to please that person. i rather use my heart to do something stupid to truly wish that person well. But still, speak wisely. Hmmm, i think you all still dun quite get what i am trying to say. HA! understand one can tag to inform. HA! cause you see, sometimes my friend don't know what i'm trying to say.

Despite all, those person behind that protective shield of theirs. Is a great person. Just like a caterpillar that soon turned into a butterfly. When its going to turn into a butterfly, it will leave its outer layer and bloom into a big and beautiful butterfly. It apply the same logic. Cause i think they truly cares and concern to their friends and family. They will do anything to make them happy, even though when they are feeling drained. But it also seems like they are the ones who keep giving and not recieving. It can get real tired when it feels like nobody is appreciating their efforts. Soon, they felt not appreciated and respect and sadly, they return to their protective shield again. Hmm, maybe for some.

I seriously think that they can occasionally put down their protective shield and welcome more people into their lives. Of course, open the eyes big big. Doesn't they feel tired by pretending to be so strong and does not need anyone to support? I think they do. hmmmm.

No matter what, i still wish them to be happy. Like life's too short to be unhappy.

iseemsoactingsmartandasumelikeiknoweverythinghahanevermindits
onlymyownthinkingyoudon'thavetoputthispostinmind.
=)

11:39 AM