Filled with much thoughts.

Its a recap on 2007 so its going to be a super long post.
its good to write it down, don't you think? i will get to see it again a few years later when i suddenly think of it :)

It have been a year already, time really files.
2007, what a unpleasant year for me and my family.

grandma's death, financial problem, father's shop burnt in amk market fire, mentally ill auntie gone missing but found in the end, friends' death, parents health not very good, my health get worse and worse etc, making people angry, people makes me angry, people sad, i sad, people cry, i cry.
Sometimes, i really feel that my life is like a series of drama. Mishaps you often see on tv, happens to me.
BUT
It doesn't affects me alot. Yes, sometimes i feel so tired, But there's alway some kind of unseen strength that support me and my family through. Its like with the help of friends and other family memebers, things seems easier to pass through. I'll take it as a test that god had given us. And yes, we have become braver and stronger each time.
I once ask my mother. "How's daddy and you coping so far? How's daddy feeling right now about the shop being burnt? We have to start all over again right?"
She replied " Ok lor, your father is pretty sad about it. But he say nevermind, we can start over again but its going to be tough."
And she also said "It doesnt seems to bother us alot leh, haha. Maybe we are numb already. Start over again lor nevermind lah, you don't worry ok"
Yes, my father previous shop at seletar market escape the fire about 6 years ago. They have to realocate us to a new market. And business wasn't good for the first 2 years. Finally its showing some results and life are better, then the fire broke out at the amk market again. I think we have affinity with the fire, it seems to follow us everywhere. But, i think god have been very very kind to us. Every store in the market have suffer quite a big loss as their shop were either badly burnt or only a small amount of goods being retrieved back. My father went back there wanting to see his shop but the person don't let us in. They say inside very dangerous. Till the very last day before the market is fully pull down. my father recieve a call from the management. They ask him to go back and retrieve his good. with the thinking theres nothing much to take, he went back. To our surprise, the shop is like untouched by the fire. Theres shutter only pop out. The things inside were all nicely place there. Some where dirtied by the fireman water. Other than that, its good. Even the photos and the licence were not burnt. Maybe that's what people always saidm its a miracle or HAO REN YOU HAO BAO.

ok next...
I have alot of regrets.
Regret now will not help anyway. But there's something that bothers me till now.
One of the regrets that affect me most is not being able to bring my grandma back to my house before she passed away. She wanted to see my mentally ill auntie for the last time, a daughter that worrys her all her life. She wanted to come back to her home, a place where she 3/4 of her life at. My ah ma, A person whom i have lived with for 20 years. A person i love and still will. A elderly whom i respect the most. A model for me to learn from. Love her.

Another regret is, I failed as a friend.
I failed to maintain some of my friendship. I'm like always making things worst.
Making people angry.
Failed to do my best as a friend.
The more i wanted to savage the situation, the hopeless it seems to get.
what to do, jus 顺其自然吧.
because no matter what, 船到桥头自然直 :)

There are quite a number of happy moments though.
My life isn't that bad after all, haha.
I have met alot of great people. No matter from school, class, work.
All of you have given me lots of joy. Nice meeting you all :)
Not forgetting all my old friends. Thank so much for standing by me all these years. I really appreciate that. Love you all too :)

In this one short year, i think i've changed. Hope its for the better.
I've stepped into the 2 category, which means i've turned 20. No longer in the 10th category.
Although i am 20 years old but i still think that i am not mature enough, that pretty sad isn't. Old in same but didnt grow up in my thinking, jia you ar huishan.
And what the hell, i'll be turning 21 this year. OH MAN! i cant believe i grow so fast. I'll be a grown up soon, that's not a happy thing to celebrate you know. Don't understand why people like to celebrate 21st birthday. Thats when i will step into the society and face all kinds of challenge.
But, i will still celebrate la.
I wanted a cake in a shape of a key. Old fashioned right, nevermind lah, 我怀旧 ma. LOL.

Family. yes, i have a happy family.

Friends, yes love you all.

For studies, still as bad. Ya, dun wish to think about it.
I have done my best, its still like that. So ya, dun need to think.

as for love, it seems hopeless too.
I used to make a stupid wish when i am celebrating my 19th birthday.
hope to get attach before 21st. HAHA
very dumb right.
so now you know why i say i am not mature enough already. HAHA.
and wishes don't come true, i know. Just a silly wish i made.
Forget about it k. HAHA.
Yes, i know you all will say this kind of thing cannot rush one.
I KNOW.
I'm only jotting it now :D
wait till i slim down ar, i think queue until taxi stand there lor. HAHA!!!! ok, I"M JOKING.

hmm.. ok lah. i think i should stop already because i don't what to write already. Or is it i dun wish to recap all over again.
Like what i have said before, humans should look forward.

So just let 2007 ends here, I love you all.

2008, i welcome you will my big arms.
But please, be a better one this year okie. Love you too. HEHE.
:):):):)

3:11 AM