Filled with much thoughts.

Self confession

I was feeling really worst this whole morning. i keep asking why i am like this. but i really dunno. one thing i can confirm is, its not bgr definitely. Feeling so terrible that i almost cried out a few time. So lost in everything. So right after school, i went home.

when to work around 3. its was a tiring journey. i keep sleeping on the bus. Guess these few days didnt get a good rest. But when i reach work, i am feeling ok. I could even joke and laugh. Everything seems alright. Shuhui came over and find me for awhile as she is helping a friend to look after her shop. So after work, millie shuhui and willie(my new aknowledge brother) went out. Willie drove us out to kenridge park i think. I forgot the name already but at that side, we can see night scenery. After a while, we left and sent millie home first as she is tired already. We arrived at shuhui void deck and chat for a while. both shuhui and willie is tired.

Shuhui the potential future nurse say that maybe its because of the hormones pill that i'm taking now affects my mood causing me to have serious mood swings. Yes, its one of the side effects. other side effect will be nausea, headache, weight gain. the pill i took last time didnt cause such a big effect but dunno why this time its like this. but no choice, i have to take it. for my own good. but the pill is treating and harming my health at the same time. I really feel a serious mood swing of myself. I think my ms should stop, and i think i'm affecting ppl too. Jus hope that my body can adjust to the new medication soon.

you can continue to scroll down if you are interested to noe more about me:

I am strong on the outside but very fragile on the inside.
I thought i am very brave, but actually i'm not. I may freak out anytime.
The harder i am on the outside, the brittle i am on the inside.
I can be smiling while i am crying.
I put on a brave front in front of my friends to let them feel that i am not that weak.
I am afraid of insects to the extend that if you put me in a room full of insects, i may kill myself.
I cry easily. no matter i am happy or sad.
Once i start crying, i find it hard to stop, even i wan to.
I only shop when i got the money.
I go shopping only when i noe i need that particular things.
I'm afraid of rejection.
When i look at you, i hope you will smile back. I will.
I hate to be hate.
I like to sing.
I like to sleep but i find sleeping a waste of time
I stone easily.
I like to be alone some times.
I dun like window shopping.
I will buy the things i like without comparing prices.
I dun like to eat sweet, serious.
I like chocolate to bits.
I dislike too spicy food.
I am the kind who need highly sense of security.
I have no confident in myself.
I dun like to talk.
I love to travel
I want to go western countries.
I dun like to eat papaya.
I like to eat chinese medicine
I hate climbing stairs.
I like to stay at home
But when i stay at home, i want to go out
When i go out, i dunno what to do and feel like going home again.
I wanted to a kindergarden teacher.
I have a mentally disabled aunty.
I want to drive.
I dun like to take train.
I like to take long journey bus.
When i got the sudden urge to do something, i wan to do straight away.
I do not have much patience.
I do not like to blog about what i do. Its tiring to repeat what you have done.
I like to draw. but i suck at it.
I have won first price at the mcdonalds coloring contest when i am young.
I think i have i have high ego.
I dun like to wear t-shirt.
I dun wear skirt anymore.
I like to wear cap but i dun look good in it.
I love my family alot.
My ambition is to get married and give birth. (used to)
I dun like crowd.
I will tend to look not interested when i am nervous infront of the person i like.
I need assurance.
I need sense of security.
I always hide my feelings.
I dun like ppl to force me.
I am a sensitive person.
I sincerely wan to be your good friend.
I like to drive around during night time.
I dun like to club.

etc... theres too much of it already.
very tired. its 3.12am now. i got to sleep already.

HAPPY DEEPAVALLI everyone!

10:33 AM